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Denise's search led her to a new life.
Story by Lisa Fipps, published in the Kokomo Perspective

Denise has done a lot of walking in her life, starting when she was 16 and walked away from home as a runaway.

"It was horrible being homeless,” she said. “I remember just walking. At 16, I was going all over. I never knew where I was going to get my next meal. It was almost unbearable. You’re walking and you’re so unhappy, but you just keep walking because if you stop to rest you know the police will see you and take you to jail or something. I would steal from grocery stores or break into cars and get money to buy food or bum from people.”

She was miserable as a homeless teen, but she was also miserable at home. Not from a lack of money but a lack of love.

“We didn’t want for anything. I was an A-B student. I guess there was love, but you never got shown it.

No matter how well I was doing, it was never good enough. My parents drank. So my home life growing up was kind of rough. Then I got into drugs,” she said.

"By the time I was 16, I was running away. I wound up pregnant with my first daughter when I was living on the run and my second child, my son, came from a crazy relationship. So, I had two by the time I was 19. I was in one crazy relationship after another.”

Denise ended up in girl’s school and after getting out starting hitchhiking across the country.

“I’ve slept under bridges,” she said. “I’ve slept under viaducts, under highways, in alleys and on the street. I remember in California sleeping in a doorway on Hollywood Boulevard. I was just in one relationship after another that failed and I lost touch of who I was.

"I’m still trying to find that person now, and it has not been easy.”

She returned to the Kokomo area and got into one of the most stable relationships she’s been in at that point in her life and had two more children. She tried to put her life in order.

“I was working two jobs, going to school full time, keeping the home life going, and on drugs,” Denise said. “In 2005, everything came crashing down. I left because we were fighting all the time and it got to be too much. I got into doing crack cocaine and lost both jobs.

"I walked away from my kids and him. I was staying here and there with friends and relatives.

"I ran into a couple of friends who helped me get off cocaine by letting me stay with them and helping me out. I started seeing another guy. It was awesome. He helped me through a lot.”

But there was just one problem with him; he was doing meth, so she started doing it, too.

“Things really went downhill from there,” Denise said. She was arrested for shoplifting in another Indiana county in May 2008. She received probation.Then she was arrested in Howard County for shoplifting in June 2008, so she served more than four months in jail for the shoplifting charge and violating probation on the first shoplifting charge.

“I got out of jail on December 25, 2008, and within two days I was back to using meth again, and things went crazy. On June 22, 2009, I was arrested on five felony charges related to drugs.

"I went to jail and during that time I was in jail I heard about Judge Menges’s Drug Court program.I was tired of doing drugs and living that way, so I signed up for that.

"On November 18, 2009, I was released to Open Arms and the Drug Court program.I was able to come here (Open Arms), which is awesome. I consider it a true blessing. You get all the classes you could possibly need. They help you get through so many obstacles. I have wonderful people all around me. The staff here is really supportive. They’re helping me get ID’s so I can get a job.”

Looking back, Denise realizes that all those years spent walking, she was searching.

“I just wanted to get away,” she said. “I wanted to live life. I think I was looking for an adventure, a place to fit in. I’m finding one now.

"I’m learning it’s OK to trust people and there are wonderful people who will help you. I go to church. I found that through God and church and the support I’m now getting that the way I felt back then wasn’t normal.

"I’m coming to terms with everything. I’m going to Ohio to a church conference to start the certification process to become a chaplain.I think I want to be a social worker or a substance abuse counselor. I can relate to those people because of what I’ve been through.”

The path Denise has walked on has been a difficult one, but it led her to Open Arms and to Christ. It led her to counseling to get over the past so she can move on and plan for a future. It led to her being free from drugs. It led her to a new life.

"This is the best I’ve felt in a long time, and I’m not high,” said Denise. “It’s amazing. It’s really awesome.”

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